The Road To Insanity

This is me, for about a week every month. I love hormones, don't you?

1. You wake up in the morning, at first, you feel all hazy, warm and comfortable. A passing unpleasant thought slips in. You are now anxious, sick with it. You feel your blood pressure rising. You get out of bed, because you can't sleep anymore. It's 5 am. On the bright side, all the old 80's cartoons are on TV right now. They distract you somewhat from the unpleasant thoughts.

2. 8 am - The anxiety-caused rising has also screwed with your digestive system. You cannot eat, and feel mildly nauseated. You are now tired, anxious and unfed. You curse existence, and go to get dressed.

3. 9 am - You look in the mirror. Anxiety levels spike once more. Your hormones are laughing at you. They aren't even trying to hide it.

4. 10am-12pm - Try to carry on your day as usual, taking care of all the things you need to do one by one. The morning's thought stalks you, until you can't keep it out anymore, at which point it takes up permanent residence in your mind, in a big, garish castle you never even knew was there. But it knew. Oh, how it knew. The hormones move in too. They hold a housewarming party.

5. 12 pm - It's lunch. You suddenly realize you haven't eaten in 15 hours. You rush to the nearest food vendor and buy one of everything. Acquaintances stare as you mow down your third subway. Good friends simply smile knowingly.

6. 1 pm - You're still hungry. You know that caffeine and sugar would cause the thought-hormone residence to GROW. You eat sugar anyway, because if you don't have caffeine, how bad can it be? You ignore the maniacal laughs from the castle.

7. 3-6pm - Very, very bad.

8. 6:30 pm - You go home. You hate yourself, your sex, and the fact that the goddamn hormones KEEP LAUGHING. Your brother calls, and tells you that everyone is busy, so you're home alone for dinner. You hang up, and burst into tears. Nobody loves you. You're an awful, unworthy person that deserves to be alone, and always will be. You don't even have a cat that loves you. You turn on the radio, crawl into bed, hug your giraffe stuffed animal, and weep quietly to the strains of "Toxic", because you can't find the damn remote.

9. 8 pm - You're hungry again. You go downstairs to get some food, and see you have two missed calls on your cell. People called you! You aren't universally hated! People like you! Wait, what if they're calling because they're angry? You start to bite your nails. The castle has just gained another bedroom, and the hormones and the thoughts are now Trading Spaces.

10. 8:30pm-12am - You call the missed calls back. They want to know how you are! They want to hang out! You are the most blessed person alive. But you look awful. You decline going out, ask if they'd like to come over and watch movies instead. They say yes, because they are the best friends in the world. You watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and CSI. The inhabitants of the castle cry foul, and vow vengeance tomorrow. You don't care. Tomorrow is another day, and Warrick Brown is hot.

PS Thanks Tessa (and I know, I went to your house).

Sports Update

Have you ever been on a sports team where there are specific people that quite obviously carry the team? Your team all knows, and wait with bated breath until they show up, the other team knows, and gets visibly nervous when the "good" ones have the ball, the ref knows, and watches more closely.

Until today, that's been our futsal (indoor soccer) team. We have two key, key players. One is our goalie, a foot-thick brick wall with mobility, and one is...pretty much everything else. I'm not saying that the rest of us have suddenly overtaken them (trust me, we really, really haven't), but today, there was less random flailing on our parts, and more actual passing, directed kicking, and even scoring my other players. And we won, 8-3. Our goalie was of course crucial, and the key 'everything' player scored 6 of our 8 goals, so without them we definitely would've lost. But we didn't lose, and we didn't have many idiotic giveaways that resulted in failure, so yay!

In other "sports" news, intramural dodgeball yesterday killed me. It's not that I got pelted or anything. I think I started dodging too vigourously or something. Anyhow, whenever I need to use my thighs, I feel like I'm going to fall over. It's odd how you never realize how often you use muscle groups until they're stiff.

Poison, and Antidote

Poison

The infuriating duplicity going on in the US Newscasting business, as described in an excellent hour of The Fifth Estate called "Sticks and Stones". Ann Coulter (for those of you who don't know, an extreme right-wing conservative), when discussing the war on Iraq with Bob McKeown, says "Canada fought with us in Vietnam, what is so different about this war?"

Bob McKeown: "...We did not send troops to Vietnam."
Ann Coulter: "I believe that you did."
Bob McKeown: "...No, we didn't. Korea, Second World War, yes. Not Vietnam."
Ann Coulter: "I think you're wrong. I'll get back to you on that."

Hey, Ann Coulter! No, we didn't.

Antidote

Watching Christine Todd Whitman, author of It's My Party Too, speak on The Daily Show. Finally, a Republican representative that I could speak with without having an apoplexy. The Daily Show as a whole was exactly what I needed, with its irreverent look at the world.

Also, visit This Is Not Over. I'm not American, but you'd better believe I'll link that.

Almost Friday!

And man am I ready. Although I have no good reason to be looking forward to the weekend, it's just as busy as the week was. T got back yesterday, so I'm back at home, with the food and my own pretty pretty bed.

I went to Dressew yesterday with two friends, and looked at pricing for a new craft idea I had. It looks like it may end up being surprisingly reasonable, so that's good. I love it when inspiration strikes, don't you? I'd describe it, but it's a secret until I test it and see if I like it.

Quote of the Week:

(In reference to a tuxedo shirt) "A step down from a tuxedo, a step up from a plain t-shirt" - Stephen Colbert, on The Daily Show

Not Today, I'm Swamped.

That was what Girly and I heard yesterday, while trying to run a fairly straight-forward errand. It was irritating, but also hilarious. And highschool kids? Still awful, awful dressers.

I've felt so isolated living at T's house. Her internet has been down for the past two days, and she doesn't get any newspapers, so I haven't been able to hear anything about the world, except on TV, and I've decided that I really don't like that very much. TV news, with the exception of The Daily Show, which isn't really news, seems so empty to me. "And now, we interview a man who drove by the scene of the crash!" Is that really necessary?

Last night I watched The Whole Nine Yards, which wasn't bad. I didn't enjoy Rosanna Arquette as Sophie, her affectations annoyed me, and not in the way they seemed to intend to. But other than that, it was okay. I'd give it an overall rating of "meh".

It turns out that I have a ridiculous amount of stuff to do this week. So woo activity! And now, to dinner. The lost meal.

Shouldn't It Be Sunday?

I feel like I'm a day ahead of reality. So much has happened in the past few days, I'm entirely convinced that it's Sunday, and that I'm horribly screwed for school tomorrow. Fortunately, there is no school tomorrow, with the exception of a futsal game (woo!).

Yesterday I hung out with Girly, and then went to play dodgeball, which was ridiculously fun. I do, however, need to learn to throw. And the second team we played needs to learn to not throw. Especially not at their opponents' heads, when the opponents know they're already out, and are walking off the court. Uncalled for.

In other news, I was transitioned today for NMC for the sorority, and I'm so excited! It's going to be so much fun!

Anyhow, I have babysitting to do tonight (not for T's Rubester, but for my nextdoor neighbours. Also, Rubester is a dog, not a baby. Just to clarify.), and dinner to eat beforehand, so it's time for me to sign off. Adios!

(A Bit) Incommunicado

So for the next few days, I'll be living at T's, dog and house sitting. As such, I won't really be able to write too much, but I do have a few things to say. One, sushi is a wonderful wonderful thing. Two, Sand in my Shoes by Dido is a wonderful song. And three, dodgeball is fun, but frustrating when you can't throw!

This Makes Me Laugh, And I'm Not Sure Why

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea?"

"If they flew over bays, they'd be bagels."

- Courtesy of Penguin Chocolate Biscuits

10:38 am

Ever had those days where even though you've actually been productive, it wasn't productive enough to curb the edge of anxiety telling you that you have work to do? That's how I feel right now, after spending one and a half hours printing off course notes. I don't even have anything big coming up this week, just a lot in the next two, and it's already getting to me. So...apparently, an offshoot of the wanting good grades, for me, is becoming a stress-ball. Unfortunate, really.

My mum made congee (like a chinese rice-porridge) last night, because she had to get fillings done, and soft food is always dental-work friendly. I looove congee. Not the kind in restaurants, that stuff is too salty and seasoned. My mum's is the best ever, and it's made only with rice, water, a little garlic, and sometimes some dried scallops. It's heaven. And I had it for breakfast this morning. Mmm.

In other news, it's still gross outside. Raining buckets. Apparently people in lower-lying areas have had to sandbag areas, as we've had over 2 inches of rainfall. And that was as of yesterday evening. Lord knows how much we've had since. I may have to start building an ark. Even if it doesn't turn out necessary, it strikes me as an excellent excuse to get some pets.

Whip Out The Galoshes

Well, until this morning, the view outside my window was something akin to a winter wonderland. A few days stale, with that ice crust forming, but still, it was white on roofs and lawns all over the city. And it was quiet outside.

This morning I woke up to rain. Loud, heavy rain hitting the roof outside my window. I was conscious engough to think "uh oh, this is going to be ugly" as I looked out the window, and it was. It was gray, with bits of slushy translucent white seeping all over the ground. Ech. Bye Winter Wonderland. Hello water-filled streets and overflowing sewer grates. Thank god our house is on top of a hill.

The weekend was interesting. Friday night I went to watch movies with two friends. We ended up seeing Along Came Polly, which was actually pretty funny, even though I thought it was going to be There's Something About Mary-esque (a movie I despised). Saturday was a surprise party for T, and Sunday, I played futsal (indoor soccer) and had training for a job. I scored a goal in futsal! I never score goals. It was a little fluke-y, as I was actually too close to the ball, so instead of being able to kick it, it basically bounced off my pelvis. I'm sure there's a dirty joke in there somewhere. But the point is, I scored! Woo!

Alright, time to venture out in the rain, so I can get some studying done. Ech.

Whoa

So...lots of stuff has happened since I last wrote. Sorority elections (I'm the new New Member Coordinator!), a knee was dislocated (not mine), which resulted in a journey to the hospital. Upsetedness occurred, was overcome, and now pokes its head out occasionally.

Let's focus on the good stuff, shall we? I'm the new NMC! That means I get to teach all our new girls about the sorority, and talk to them about any questions or concerns they might have. It'll be so much fun! I've wanted this office since my first year in the sorority, so I'm really excited. I'm kind of like the chapter's guidance counselor, except without the nasty temper and chain smoking I remember from my counselor in highschool.

One of my classes now has a grand total of 14 people in it, which is interesting. It started with about 40, and students are dropping the class like a hot potato. But since I, in all honesty, kind of like it, I don't mind too much. Except I'm a little scared that everyone sticking around is supersmart, and that scaling will kick my ass. Well, we'll just have to see, right?

Excellent News, And Excellent Dinner

My dad has been employed. As of this coming Monday, he will be working the 9 to 5 again. Wooo!

In celebration, we went to a celebration dinner at La Notte. Such good food. And, as a hint for anyone who doesn't know, they have a special every Tuesday; all pasta dishes are $7.99. I had the spaghetti pescatore (seafood pasta in a gralic tomato sauce) and let me tell you, I was freakin stuffed. And I didn't even finish it! Also, our waiter was kind of hot. Anyhow, I definitely recommend it, especially on Tuesdays.

I've signed up for the unlimited yoga special on at Semperviva, and went to my third session this morning with T and her mom, AM. It was awesome, and I'll be going tomorrow morning as well, thank you. So I'm well-fed, will be active two days in a row (two days, people!), and my dad has a new job! Wooo!

Cranium, Incredibles, and More!

Today, Girly and I went to see The Incredibles, and it was awesome. It has proudly upheld the Pixar tradition of movies I love. I know that they can't keep making amazing movies forever, but every time they do, I'm a little happier.

I also bought 2 CDs: Shania Twain Greatest Hits, and Afterglow Live by Sarah McLachlan. The first is one of the few greatest hits albums that I think chose the right songs, and the second I bought a) because I generally like Sarah McLachlan a lot, and b) Push. That song is incredible, and I think it'll probably be one of my favourite songs of the year, unless this year is incredible.

At Girly's, we played board games. We started with Articulate, which is basically like the British cousin of Taboo. A lot of fun. We then moved on to Cranium, which is excellent. Honestly, it's one of the few truly original board games I've seen. We had 8 people playing, making four teams of two. My team won (wooo!) after coming back from waaaay behind. I'd like to add that we were behind not because we were bad at the game, but because we only moved one space each dice roll for six turns in a row. Anyhow, in the end, our superior skill won out. Heh, not really, we got lucky too. But it's a great game. Playdough in a boardgame! Who would think of that?!

Feeling Noodly

So, other than academically, today was pretty productive. I went snowshoeing around the neighbourhood with my mom, I tutored, and I took my first yoga class that didn't include snickering 15 year old boys (ah, highschool. Not.).

The snowshoeing was fun (as you may have assumed, the snowiness is indeed persisting). We just wandered about, looking at all the pretty trees, and talking in a strwam of non-sequiturs, because it's hard to hear someone who's in front of you, and talking in the wrong direction. It was really quiet, except when the high school kids got out of school. Luckily, we were almost home by then.

Yoga was also really nice. I went with T and her mom, who've both done yoga before (I mean beyond my brief highschool experience). I think I did okay, although it did show me just how inflexible some of my muscle systems really are. Yikes. Fortunately, the session we went to was pretty relaxed. We went to a candlelight Hatha yoga session. There were candles everywhere, and soothing music. I am extremely relaxed, and feeling quite serene. No wonder people do yoga.

What A Day

Yesterday's climate of well-being was quite variable. Emotionally, it was clear skies everywhere, but around 10pm, it started to be medically overcast. Basically, my stomach rebelled against...me, and I was lying in a ball at home moaning, as a result, which I have to say, was so much fun, especially when I got to sprint to the bathroom. Wooo!

The beginning of the day was pretty nice. I went to Park Royal, and hung out with Jo. I have a new wallet (and have used some of my Roots gift certificate!). It worked out quite well, too, since my old wallet has a hole in the changepurse, leading to change flying everywhere. And while it is novel to have money fall at your feet, it stops feeling like you're that girl in the fairytale when it's your money, and it actually starts hurting people.

So hanging out with Jo was awesome, as always, and then we went to meeting, which was also nice, as I got to see everyone that I hadn't seen since before Christmas.

So...the day was pretty good, until my stomach wanted a revolution. But then this morning, I woke up, and there is snow! I love snow. It makes everything look pretty and clean, and it's fun! My philosophy is that if it's going to be so freakin cold out, we may as well get some of the white stuff too. And for once, we did! Yay!

Garden State

I saw Garden State last night, and I have to say that I loved it. The actors, the whole mood of the movie was great. I did think the ending seemed out of place, but it was on the whole extremely well done, especially considering that it was the first feature movie Zach Braff directed, and to my knowledge the first screenplay he wrote. Also, the soundtrack is incredible. I don't know if Zach Braff picked the music, but whoever did deserves some sort of reward.

In unrelated news, the Scarf of Alpaca has been started! I've decided to name it Packy.

Armed with Needles

So I seem to have mastered the moss stitch, which is a fancy way of saying that I can make a pretty pattern with bumps in regular places. Of course, this is in my cheap practice wool. Next stop, Alpaca! Wish me luck.

Saved! With Apples

Tonight, I went and had dinner with the lovely Tessa, and then we headed to her place to make (and eat, clearly) dessert, and watch a movie. We watched Saved!, which I'd never seen. I'd had mixed reviews of the movie, including a lot of bad ones, but I really enjoyed it. It was just the right mix of cynicism and romantic happy endings for me.

Dessert was baked apples, a favourite of mine, and the second recipe to grace Never Reason's pages. So, here we go:

J-Bird's Baked Apples (with happy accidents due to Tessa's lack of labeled spices)

Ingredients (to serve 2)
2 Apples (I prefer Granny Smith or something equally tart, but use your favourite baking apple)
1/2 lemon
liquid honey
~1/2 cup of rolled oats
~2 tsps each of cinnamon and nutmeg
~5 tsps brown sugar
~ 1/4 cup margarine or butter
Note: other than the apples, which are key, this is all pretty much to taste, and I'm pretty much just making up quantities (hence the squigglies), so...use your judgement.

Preparation
1. Preheat oven to 350 F, and grease whatever you're baking them in. Use something somewhat deep. We used a muffin tin. Ramekins would be really pretty.

2. Wash apples, and cut them into thirds (I know weird dimension, but it's important. I'm totally lying. Pick a dimension, but cut 'em). Also, core the apples. Not entirely necessary to the recipe, but it makes it easier to eat, and as Tessa so wisely spoke for us all "I don't like that stuff". Put each portion in their baking dishes.

3. Squeeze lemon juice on apple pieces, then sprinkle oats cinnamon, nutmeg and sugar on apples (this is where the happy accident came. I accidentally used nutmeg instead of cinnamon. It's awesome, and has been permanently invited to the Baked Apple party).

4. Drizzle liquid honey sparingly over apples. The honey should not runneth over.

5. Pop in oven. In about 20 minutes, take out of oven, and put about a teaspoon of margarine/butter on each portion. Put back in oven, bake for another 15-20 minutes. Basically, serve them when they get really mushy, like applesauce. And serve them right out of the oven, hot like fire.

If they start drying out too much, add more butter, or lemon juice or something. Also, raisins make a wonderful addition (we didn't have any), and if they could be eaten with creme fraiche, they would be.

Enjoy!

Am I Ready For A New Year?

Hell yeah.

I don't really know what to say about the last year; January through July was great. August and September pretty much kicked my ass, and October through December was extremely variable. All in all though, I can't really complain. I do know that I'm happy about this new year though, because it means that I can think about all the bad stuff as happening "last year" which at least sounds like it's behind me.

My actual New Year's was really nice. It was just mellow, hung out with Girly and some other friends. It was the best New Year's I've had in a long time. I think hanging out with some of your favourite people is an excellent way to ring in a new year. Of course, getting drunk and then dancing til you drop does hold its own merits, I'm sure. I sound like such an old lady. And I just learned how to knit. Sometimes I scare myself.

New Year's Resolutions, generally, are not my favourite things. I've never really done them, to be honest. I always thought they kind of sucked the fun out of the New Year. But, apparently with the whole "getting older" thing, I've decided to make a few. I figure if I complete two or three of them, I'll be pretty happy. So, here they are;

1. Learn to sew. Like actually, so I can design and cut simple patterns and make myself clothes. I've always wanted to know how to do that.
2. Get in better shape, but not by going to the gym or running (because I need to make these goals attainable, and those two things would never happen even once).
3. Knit my Alpaca Scarf
4. Improve my grades (wheee! This one is a lot harder than it would've been had I said the last year, but there's still lots of room for further improvement).
5. Travel at least once before the next school year starts, be it to Florida, Montreal, or beyond.
6. Learn to cook yummy foods that aren't desserts.
7. Read more (I can definitely do this one. Booyeah!)
8. Organize my room (heh, this one;s basically just for my mom).
9. Stay in contact with all my UBC friends that are graduating before me.
10. Become totally happy with my life, or at least as close to it as I was at this point two years ago (this, as they say, is the Big One).

Well, guess we'll have to see how I do! Happy New Year, y'all.