Graduated!

5:58 am
cellphone: beepbeep! beepbeep! beepbeep!
J-Bird: Oh god.

5:59 am
cellphone: beepbeep! beepbeep! beepbeep!
J-Bird: Shut up.

6:00 am
J-Bird: Hey. It's six. Get up.
N: I hate you.
J-Bird: I hate me too.

7:15 am
N: Oh god, do you think they reuse the hats? I did not pay $20 000 for my degree and another $40 to rent my regalia to wear a hat someone else used.
J-Bird: "I graduated and all I got was lice!"

7:30 am
N: How's my gown look?
J-Bird: ...Voluminous?
N: It's so early! I want to take a nap.
J-Bird: Good thing you're wearing that comfy nightgown, then.

8:00 am
Marshall: ...and for all you ladies wearing higher heels than you ever have before. we have, at the bottom of the exit stairs, a gentleman known as a catcher, in case you should fall. This happens every ceremony at least once or twice, but we've never needed an ambulance.

10:00 am
President of University: I present you the May 2006 graduates!