Tales of the Work Week(end)

Saturday

Customer 1: You used to have more tables for two.
Co-worker: : No, actually, we just moved them around a little.
Customer 1: No, there were more. I think you should go back to before, when you had more tables for two.
Co-worker: (under breath as customer walks off): Oh my god, you insane lady...
Me: Come on [Coworker], go in the back and build some more tables! For two!
Co-worker: : I hate you.

Group of Kids at table: This is the song that never ends....
Me: Oh god.
Baby 1: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
Babies 2 through 9: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Co-worker (muttering): Kill me now.
Me (muttering back): No, first we kill those kids out of hate, and then we mercy kill each other. (In normal voice to customers) Can I get you anything else? Ketchup? Peantu Butter?
Customers: Do you have any earplugs?
Me: God I wish.

Sunday

Me: Effing time change son of a who's bloody idea was it anyway I hate the world SCREW YOU BROKEN FRIDGE up at 5 am bloody hell hate bloody damn

9 am
Co-worker 1: I hate the world
Me: Join the club.

9:45 am
Co-worker 2: I hate everyone.
Co-worker 1 and me: Solidarity, sister!

Everyone, after taking a 15 minute shift at the cash: I need to switch with you. (whispered) These people make me crazy!

3 pm
Me: Well that was the longest workday ever.
Co-worker: Oh god...another hour...