Thoughts Like This

I'm listening to Iron and Wine's cover of "Such Great Heights", which - thankfully - s not just a regurgitation of the same song through different vocal cords. It's soft and peaceful and so much more restrained than Postal Service's original, which to me has always been irrepressibly joyful.

As it's 12:08 am, and my brother no longer lives here, I'm the only person who's still conscious in the house; my parents are in bed already. It feels so restful to be alone, I wonder if this is why all my friends end up staying awake 'til 4 am; it's the only time we have to be alone. This and while I'm enroute to somewhere else. Even then I'm surrounded by people, but at least my anonymity affords me some illusion of solitude. Of course, I'm spending my alone time writing on my blog, which ostensibly is to other people, so I guess I fail a little, too.

I'll list some random facts about myself, because...because I feel like it.

My favourite member of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is Bridget, and the third book, Girls in Pants, makes me cry. I think Bee is my favourite because most of the time she's fearlessly marching into her future, marshalling it into what she wants with pure will without even realizing it, but sometimes she's frozen behind a wall of confusion, doubt, and apprehension about this world she's made for herself. It may also be because of her long yellow hair, which I alwasy wanted as a kid, and would have, if it wasn't for the fact that I'd look ludicrous.

Some of my friends are surprised when I'm cynical, and some of them are surprised when I miss an opportunity to say something cynical and instead say something nice. My good friends aren't surprised either way.

T once teased me for liking Jon Stewart, saying I wanted to marry him. I replied that if he were younger and taller (and of course, single, rather than happily married with a child) all he'd have to do is ask me. I was only half kidding.

I'm scared I won't get into grad school, even though I know if at first I don't succeed...

I've had several people tell me that if I don't meet someone to spend my life with, I'll end up a crazy cat lady. Which is partially true (you really think I'd limit myself to just cats?), but fingers crossed, it'll never happen.

I miss J, Girly, Tessa, Shakey and Mranda. I wish they were here.

While at work today, a couple from Seattle came in with their (Vancouverite) granddaughter. They've come in a few times, and I love them (we always chat), and when they found out I was graduating soon, they were so excited and congratulatory. It was a really nice feeling, but congratualtions upon graduating from university seem few and far between to me; it isn't an accomplishment, in my world. It's just what you do, and that's sad.

I'm half dreading graduation. I'll have to decide what to do, I won't see all my friends every day anymore, people will start moving away, I might move away. I have the best, best friends, and I don't want to see them fade away. I know they'll never disappear entirely, but I also know nothing will be the same.

I'm upsetting myself, and I'm tired. I need to sleep, and maybe read something happy. 'night, all. 'love.