Saturday, December 25, 2004

Christmas at Casa Jan

Christmas's Past;

1989-1999
5:00 am
Greg and J-Bird: IT'S CHRISTMAS! WHEEEEE!
(us running downstairs to the living room)
Greg and J-Bird: STOCKINGS! YAAAAAAYYYY!
(we go back to bed, so as not to wake the Ghost of Christmas Grouchiness (my mom) or the Ghost of Laborious Christmas Chart-Making (my dad))

7:00 am
Greg and J-Bird: Wakeupwakeupwakeup! It's time for PRESENTS!
Parents: Nngh.
(Greg and I run down stairs and hyperventilate with anticipation)
Greg and J-Bird: Dad, hurry up!
Dad: Just wait, I have to have glass of orange juice first!
(10 minute pause. Seems like 3 years)
Dad: Okay, I'm finished my orange juice. Now just let me find the ruler...
Greg and J-Bird: Noooooo! Why do you have to make the gift chart every yeeeeaar? Why can't you make it yesterday? Why can't we just open our presents!?
Mom: (crossly) Oh, just let him make the chart.
(20 minute pause, while Ghost of Laborious Christmas Chart-Making finds a ruler, pen, and clipboard, draws up a chart worthy of a draftsman's certificate, and then settles himself with pen, chart, and ruler, should there be any unanticipated gifts. Us kids annoy the hell out of my mom, until she makes her annual proclamation of Christmas being a Waste of Time)
Dad: Okay, now, let's see, Greg first, this one's from Aunty Paula, so that's...square B4. Okay, go ahead, I'm ready.

2000-2003
5:00 am
Greg: J-Bird! Get up! It's Christmas!
J-Bird: Nngh.

8:00 am
see 1989-1999, 7:00 am

Christmas Present

2004
5:00 am
(everyone is sleeping. I awaken, to smell Christmas baking. My mother has gotten up at 5 am on Christmas morning to bake. I go back to sleep)

9:00 am
Greg and J-Bird: Okay, we're up! Let's open presents!
Dad: Well, you slept in long enough for me to start a grapefruit, so you're going to have to wait until I'm done.
Greg: Oh god, we'll be here forever. Where's mom?
J-Bird: She's been baking since at least 5. I wonder if dad's made the chart.
Greg: Oh God.
Dad: I thought I wouldn't make the chart this year.
Greg and J-Bird: YAY! It's a Christmas Miracle!
Dad: Okay, I'm almost halfway through the grapefruit...

Yep, you heard me right. No chart. The Ghost of Labourious Christmas Chart-Making has retired. And my mom was relatively un-grouchy this year, baking and all. Merry Christmas, everyone.

1 comment:

Tessa said...

Come Back please!

Oh and have a Happy New Year!